How to Have People Over
So how do you have people over exactly? Are you looking for a step by step guide to showing hospitality? Well here it is.
First, think about why you want to have people over. Yes, hospitality is a Biblical command. But what is the purpose of this particular gathering? As Kendra Adiche AKA The Lazy Genius says, “Name what matters.” Do you want to get to know your neighbors? Are you worried someone in your church is lonely? Is this get together a Bible study, and therefore the purpose is to study God’s word? Do you want to have fun and build deeper friendships? The why of your gathering will help you make a lot of decisions such as whom to invite, what activities you will offer, and whether or not to serve food. Although she isn’t a Christian, Priya Parker is an excellent resource to help you think about the purpose of your hospitality.
Second, invite people. Pray about the people God would like you to invite into your home. Then call, text, email, send an evite or a written invitation. For dinner, especially with new people, I like to invite people 2-3 weeks before the anticipated dinner. For something more formal such as a baby shower or birthday party, a month to six weeks notice is helpful. Bonus: send a reminder text the day before saying you’re looking forward to seeing the guest at your event.
Next, decide what food or drinks you are serving, if you are serving sustenance at all. I ask people if they have any food allergies before they come over. Please don’t stress about this. People with serious food allergies often bring their own food to other people’s homes. Whatever you serve, make sure it’s something you have made before and can prepare easily. Hint: I make the same meal every time we have people over for dinner.
Purchase any food or necessary supplies. Do you need to buy a bag of ice? Do you need supplies for an activity at this gathering?
Think of a few questions you want to ask your guests. If you don’t know the guests well, you’ll want to start with more surface level questions. As you get to know guests better, you can ask deeper questions. How was your week? What activities are your kids involved in? How is your mother recovering from her surgery? Have you listened to anything good lately or read any good books? Do you have plans for the summer?
Tidy and clean your home a bit. This is where many people panic. Your home does not have to be spotless. Clean one toilet and sink. Sweep or vacuum. If you’re preparing food, make sure the kitchen is clean. Do not stress out about the state of your home. Most people have messes in their homes. Remember why you’re doing this. You’re not having a photo shoot for Better Homes and Gardens magazine. You’re showing Biblical hospitality.
Show the hospitality. Make people feel welcome in your home. Enjoy your guests. Pro tip: I like to stop cooking and cleaning ten minutes before people arrive. In the last ten minutes I like to get a drink of water, pee and maybe apply lipstick. This helps me feel a little less frantic.
Thank people for coming. The people who come over have chosen to spend time with you. Thank your guests for coming. Bonus: reach out a few days later to thank guests for coming and ask a follow up question based on your conversation in your home. You could also let the guest know you’re praying about a specific situation in their lives.
Clean up and retrospective. While you’re doing the dishes, you could pray and thank God for your guests and for the ability to show hospitality. After a gathering sometimes I’ll ask my family what went well and what we could do differently next time.
And that’s it. It doesn’t have to be fancy. You can make people feel welcome in your home.
How often do you invite people into your home? Would you like to practice hospitality? Could you make a plan to invite someone over in the next thirty days? I’d love for you to send me an email at tacohospitality@gmail.com or chat about this on Instagram. You can and you will get better as you practice having guests in your home.