Do you think you’re bad at hospitality? Switch to a growth mindset. You can and you will get better as you practice having guests in your home.

Shinichi Suzuki believed any healthy child could learn to play the violin. No one is born knowing how to play the violin, and Suzuki believed anyone could learn with enough practice. I think it’s the same with hospitality. Every time you invite people to come over, it gets easier. And yes, I am that Suzuki homeschool mother who started all of her children in violin lessons when they were three years old.

(Hey, notice the bin in the bottom right corner of that photo? I was sorely tempted to edit or crop that out, but then I remembered to stop worrying about how clean my house is.)

Suzuki was all about immersion, having children listen daily to recordings of the pieces they were going to learn how to play. If you want to make having guests over easier, immerse yourself in hospitality. Read books about hospitality. Study Bible verses that reference hospitality such as 1 Peter 4:9 and Romans 12:13. Ask great hosts you know for their advice. Listen to this podcast about hospitality on the fly from Kendra Adachi, AKA The Lazy Genius.

And then practice. Truly, demonstrating hospitality does get easier the more you do it. You start to remember things like drinks before everyone is seated with their plates. And you learn what is really helpful when someone asks you, “What can I bring?” Maybe you say it’s helpful if someone brings dessert. But then after hosting a few times, you realize you love baking and miss it, so it’s really most beneficial for someone to bring drinks or a vegetable. 

We become better conversationalists the more we invite people into our homes. We get better at asking thoughtful questions and sharing meaningful, funny stories from our lives. After hosting different groups of people we learn what topics and games work best for larger groups, and what is best for smaller, intimate gatherings. Remember it doesn’t have to be dinner. You can practice having people over by hosting playdates, book club, brunch, or game nights.

How often do you invite people into your home? Would you like to practice hospitality? Could you make a plan to invite someone over in the next thirty days? I’d love for you to send me an email at tacohospitality@gmail.com or chat about this on Instagram. You can and you will get better as you practice having guests in your home.